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Thinking lately:

ask and you shall receive...

This is the latest from A Life U Love Coaching Services

The "Dear Simone" Coaching Column

How does it work?
, Email or go to the contact page and send a question.

, Come back here to look for the response.

, Or come back at look at what other readers want to know.

Here goes:
Question- Dear Simone,
How do you find true love and a meaningful relationship?
W.G. from Iowa


Well WG,
what I have found is that it starts with me. When I am in the space of looking, I only find more of what I don't have because that is what my attention is focused on--what I don't have. Looking from a place of lack gives off an air of desperation and lack, so I start living as if I do have true love and a meaningful relationship. I take care of myself in ways that make me feel special and cherished.

Have you ever noticed how people in love are very attractive and radiate interest and love. You want to be around them or with them because they not only feel love in their life, but they also exude love. That is attractive! So the question now becomes how do I exude love when I am not in a meaningful relationship, so that I can be in one?

First, you must become whom you want to date. Look at your checklist and see if you are a match. This does not mean that you have to be perfect, beautiful, or thin. It does mean that you have to be someone who loves and cares about yourself, so that others have a reason to want to love and care about you.

Second, fill your time with things and activities that you like and want to do. When you actively cultivate your interests, you become more attractive to others. Your Mr. or Ms. Right should not be expected to bring the excitement into your life. That is a big responsibilty, and most people do not want the pressure of ensuring someone else's happiness, especially someone with whom they are just getting involved.

Third, polish your communication skills. The most memorable people are those that listen to us. How well do you listen and then respond appropriately. This does not mean that you have to settle for someone who does not listen to you. It does mean that you are comfortable sharing in others' lives and inviting them to share and participate in yours.

Lastly, love yourself. Get excited about being you, and the world will get excited with you. If you have a hard time loving and enjoying who you are, then you will have a hard time being intimate with someone else. You may want to engage the help of a coach to establish your boundaries and raise your standards, or perhaps a therapist might help you to resolve any issues of low self-worth.

The bottom line is that you have it in you to find true love and a meaningful relationship. The key is to become so attractive it finds you!


Now, tell me what else you want to know.


Check out these past thoughts:
September 2001             January 2002             May 2002            July 2003
October 2001                 February 2002            June 2002
November 2001              March 2002                February 2003
December 2001             April 2002                   March 2003